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February 2011

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Feb. 23rd, 2011

reality

So, I'm really, REALLY sorry.

I am.

I came here, I made friends, and then I just dropped away like I'd never been here. And maybe I'm just pixels on a screen here, but you've all been amazing to me, and I owe you better.

I wish I could explain the last few months, but I don't really have the emotional capacity and I really don't want to inflict that on either you or me.

The best way I can explain it is that Ijust realised that my life as I knew it was gone, and I was (and am) grieving for it and just coping really badly.

I've been back on a couple times and each time set out with the best intentions, I swear, butI've not yet managaed to pull myself together enough to get back to you guys. And I wish I could promise that this time is different but I can't, and I'm really truly sorry. All I can do is try and I don't know if that will be enough.

So yeah, for at least the third time, I'm sorry. And you are all amazing, and I truly hope you are in better shape than I am.

(I'm not dead, by the way.)

(also, Michael Gove is a moron and I should stop listening to Any Questions because it JUST MAKES ME CROSS D:)

Oct. 5th, 2010

look

Fuck my life.

So.

It's 1:33 in the morning and I want to go to sleep. I'm exhausted. I'm emotionally drained. My back is beyond painful. I just want to sleep.

I've been lying here, shattered and unable to keep my eyes open, and yet I cannot sleep.

I'm so fed up with this.

Oct. 2nd, 2010

look

(no subject)

So, in my never ending quest for DECENT FIC, I stumbles across this page hurr (ther are two more but the links are at the top under the banner. Basically, SuJu quote. I LOVE THESE LUNATICS. also, \o/ so much snark~

Elyse, you are so going to like the first one of theseCollapse )

In other news, I am almost recovered form the plague, even if I spent the past two days curled up cursing the world. And my brother. And the dog. Although, to be honest, I spend a lot of time cursing the dog. But you get my drift.

BUT. I MISSED PROF BRIAN COX'S LONDON BOOK SIGNING. WHY IS THIS MY LIFE. COULDN'T I HAVE BEEN SICK NEXT WEEK OR SOMETHING. I'D HAVE BEEN SICK FOR LONGER AND EVERYTHING /RAGE

At least his TV show is back /sobbing

Sep. 28th, 2010

Jay

My brother has given me the plague D:

I feel sick D: and lmao, I totally wrote 'bother' first time round. Freudian slip is Freudian XD But yeah, tummy ache.

Have finished English essay of doom, kinda sort of almost maybe not really. But it's like 2,500 thousand words. I wrote four thousand originally and then decided it was all crap so rewrote it. Basically, I keep wrting fic and being all alliteration dramatic sentences emotive lang- NO MUST ANALYSE VERB CHOICE DDDDDDD:.

And, shock horror, my back hurts. But I am resolutely chipper and watching Merlin, which probably has something to do with feeling chipper. OH WELL.

Sep. 25th, 2010

look

I'm shit at this - I'm so sorry.

So. I hate my life right now.

This is the first time I've been on lj for weeks now, as opposed to my usual READ FIC AND TACFULLY IGNORE TOP RIGHT OF PAGE BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO SAY. But yeah.

Had a relapse on my back. Back to being in constant pain and kind of can't walk AND WHAT THE FUCK DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS OKAY. IT'S BEEN OVER A YEAR AND WHAT EVER IT WAS, I'M SORRY, OKAY, SO SORRY.

Just. I miss you guys, and I hope nothing like this ever happens to you. Sorry I'm so fail.



HAYYYYLLEEEYYYYYYY I CAN'T WAIT FOR SUNDAYYY. I NEED PEOPLE, THIS IS WHY I AM SO DEPRESSED. I KNOW WHAT BEING ALONE DOES TO ME. ugh, I should get on msn /sigh

Aug. 16th, 2010

look

I FAIL. I ADMIT IT.

OH HAI.

SO.

I'M REALLY SORRY.

I TOTALLY KEPT MEANING TO DO THIS.

BUT I DIDN'T.

OMFG, WHY AM I SO USELESS.

Have been here on an off. Ups and downs and round abouts.

Hope you're all okay, and I haven't made you too angry with me. I'm going to try and do better, I swear.

PS: Hayley and Elyse - I AM BACK IN THE LAND OF INTERNETS, AND OH, IT IS GOOD.
Tags: , ,

Apr. 29th, 2010

look

(no subject)

BEEN TO HOSPITAL. BACK FROM HOSPITAL. OW IS THE GENERAL CONSENSUS

In other news-


There is none. Just ow. So basically I was meant to be sedated, but they forgot to tell us so I ate, and they couldn't. So I only had local - and holy fuck. Four needles as thick as - I dunno - pencil leads? INTO MY SPINE.

And I'm right woozy and all.
Tags: ,

Apr. 24th, 2010

reality

Dylan and a minor meltdown.

I disappeared, so sorry. Um. Minor breakdown. Well, minor may be a little bit of an understatement. But, um, yeah.

I got imageshack though! And puppy pictures!

Which I am now going to try and make work. Bear with me.

DoggyCollapse )

Fixed~

Apr. 12th, 2010

look

50 THEMES BECAUSE ELYSE TWISTED MY ARM (aka did 8DDDDDDDD at me - only more)


Title: 50 Themes.
Genre: Like, all of them. Mostly happy, some angsty, very few sad endings. Lot's of fluff.
Pairing: KangTeuk, HanChul, QMi and Kihae. There may be ninja of others but I have no idea AND DAMNIT I WILL BE ASLEEP BY MIDINGHT.
Rating: Eh, nothing graphic, just-before-graphic-kinda. I'd say 15, but I have no idea.
Summary: THEY'RE THEMES. THEY'RE ALL DIFFERENT.
A/N: So yeah. Posting this right before I sleep so that bb can have them when she wakes up. Also, I have just decided I hate these. I blame writers block. They took me forever and there is SO MUCH TRIADIC STRUCTURE WHAT IS THIS. That is this, I do like some of them. Eh, what do I know, I'm going to sleep now.

Also, for those who are unaware, themes are short little sections (the could be one sentence or several) from a prompt. They exist in the same timeline as each other but they aren't in order and there is no necessary flow from one to the next.

 

KangTeukCollapse )

 

HanChulCollapse )

  

QMiCollapse )

   FYI, includes ONLY13 bashing and, in my mind, Mimi tops.

  

KiHaeCollapse )

 

Apr. 5th, 2010

look

(no subject)

OMFG. I give up prediction g my life. I do nothing for aaaages and then suddenly I'M CONSTANTLY BUSY. And I'm so fed up with hospital, you have no idea :(

 

I will attempt to be around, but you know what? I can't make any promises, sadly. I feel bad when  said I'd be here and then I'm not, so Imma do my best but I have no idea.

If you are wondering where I have been, I have been in hospital, and then I... can't remember what happened Friday - I've lost the day, and then Saturday and Sunday my best friend who I haven't seen in aaaaaages slept over and then I was knackered.

 

I have also been backtracking through my email to the fifteenth?And tat is why conversations from ages ago have been creeping up, I'm hoping to get rid of tha backlog which is why I'm slow to answer rece3nt ones, on top over my usual wheeee state of mind. And I have new pills. They are muy yucky.

 

My computer is currently being stoopid, so I'm going to finish nao. ilu all.


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